Summer 1999
Birmingham Alabama
Birmingham Alabama the birth place of the Civil Rights Movement, it is here that Dr Martin Luther King Jr. first preached his non-violent approach to social change. Social changes that created a turbulent past as Birmingham moved from division to diversity. Modern Birmingham like many southern cities saw a renaissance in the 70s and 80s as companies moved to the “new south” for the non union work force, right to work laws, and lower taxes. The sun belt grew as did the rust belt, creating a modern city with a diverse work force. Yes, some of the old tensions still survive under the surface, but that is not what this is about.
Twenty years of this growth created a suburban area I call “generica”. Those cookie cutter areas that you could pick up and drop anywhere in the US and not notice a difference. They have the big box stores surrounded by the little box stores with the chain restaurants. To complete the picture you would have a beach bar. Bahamas Beach Club (BBC) was a bit of polyester paradise tucked away in one corner of generica. The New South.
Men and woman free drinks vs. bitter endings
Walking into BBC, I noticed two very attractive young ladies whose path I would cross at the door. Dressed stylishly sexy with four inch heels, short dresses and made up for display. As luck and my precise sense of timing, would have it, we all approached the front door at the same time. They smiled, as I held open the doors to the BBC for their grand entrance.
They were laughing, prancing, dressed for an night out of fun with free drinks. Obviously they had done this before, I don’t imagine they had $10 between them but they knew they would be taken care of all night long.
“Big girl party dress night” I said as I held the door open.
“Girls just wanting to have fun, thanks” the brunet said and gave me a wicked smile, as they walked past me into the club.
They turned to go to the restroom, probably to put the finishing touches as they psych themselves for the kill, as I turned to the lounge. The BBC it is not a bar, but a lounge which has a large central bar surrounded by stools and tables. Meant more to be the focal point of the area, a gathering spot to see and be seen. My two parking lot buddies were there for just that.
The lounge was very empty for a Thursday night, I took a seat on the far end, ordered and sat back to watch. The two ladies came from the restroom and took seats directly across from me and ordered. Then I put my stop watch on, how long would it take for the first man to buy them a drink. Seven minutes and 23 seconds exactly. In fact he had bought the drinks they had just ordered so it could be said no time at all.
Ten minutes into the night another man joined in the party and bought all four another drink. I hadn’t even decided on whether I wanted the grilled salmon sandwich or jerk chicken and these two have an entourage paying for their evening out. One of the two looked over at me and smiled, I return the smile with a bit of acknowledgement at the genius of these two.
I sat and observed as the crowd at the other side of the bar grew with patrons and the seats filled. Except on my side of the bar, a traveling sales guy doesn’t attract much attention. So I remained isolated enjoying my jerk salmon sandwich, I comprised between the two choices. The bar filled, some couples, came in for cocktails, a couple more men were sucked into the vortex of the two ladies who were now eating appetizers. Then, as chance would have it two ladies approached my side of the bar. Two ladies you could tell weren’t having a good time. Great!
They sat down next to me, which shouldn’t have surprised me since my side of the bar was practically empty and the other side standing room only. My luck but at least I wouldn’t have to buy them any drinks.
I looked at them, as they took their seats, one was obviously not fun or having fun. She had that I’ll bite your head off aurora. Her companion was an attractive middle age woman, smiling, polite and appeared to be a kind friend listening to the wailings of her companion. A companion who obliviously had been “over served”. Something had made her loose pride in herself and let the underside of life take over. I am thinking a man, go figure.
The bar scene is all about what you portray not who you are. Two very diverse groups, young vibrant using men to get what they want, the other trying to escape that or here to remind themselves why they are not a part of this scene anymore.
I was just finishing my meal, watching the comings and goings of a slew of men as they attempted to chat up the two attractive ladies, a night of entertainment a couple of guys at a time. The two new ladies that were sitting closer to me were not bother by anyone. They defiantly were not into the scene. I wonder why they were even here as they weren’t enjoying “it”. Quietly observing, I caught parts of the conversation. Divorce, kids, bastard, were a few of the words I caught. This must have been a girls night out to get away of the realities of life for a couple of hours. I sat just observing and listening as I usually do when the un-fun lady turns and says.
“All men are assholes”.
Being a man I took this personally, but not totally disagreeing.
“Most men are assholes.” I corrected her.
With a snip of her lip she started to say “FUC…..”
Her friend jump in “I’m sorry she had a rough couple of days.”
“Men are all pigs, that means you too buddy.” Said the disgruntled one.
“I prefer the platitude swine, it is less demeaning to pigs.” I responded
“Amy shut up, your being an ass right now and I have had it with the pity party.” Cheryl, her kind friend, I think had had enough of the Amy’s pity party and the attendee list dwindled to one.
“Ladies please.” I said “Amy, I am sorry for your tough times, yes some men are pigs but tonight there are no men just friends.”
A tear welled up in Amy’s eye, “Sorry, asshole”. Well it turned out not to be a tear but a trick of the light but Amy was back in form and Cheryl and I talked as she tried to explain Amy’s predicament.
We talked for a short moment, finding out she had three children, a husband who had abandoned her, left alone, with mounting debt yes some men are real assholes. Amy had, had a little bit much to drink, dulling the pain for a bit, but increasing the bitterness. Which fortunately for me, her rage was now directed at. Due mainly to chances of genetics which made me an asshole, or generally known throughout the rest of the population a man.
“I know I overheard some of y’alls conversation, sounds to me like she got the raw end of the deal.” I said
“We warned her that the guy was a jerk, already been married twice, but he was the dangerous type, already had two kids with other woman. So don’t feel to sorry for Amy, reality is biting her in the ass.” Cheryl said, in soft conversational speak mainly so Amy wouldn’t overhear.
I could not help noticing that Cheryl was sporting a rather sizable engagement and wedding ring set.
“I see you are married, how is that working for you.” I asked
“Happily married for ten years not bad considering we have been together for 15.” Cheryl laughed
Amy chimed in “Listen asshole. Cheryl’s hasben is a great guy and will kick your ass if he sees you walking to her, jerk.” Amy slurred as she turned back to her drink looking out at the bar. A bar full of men and two sets of woman, Amy was in no fear of attracting any men her way. The pair across from us was still holding court, very successfully. Now enjoying a free appetizer compliments of the bar tender. It was like the other side of the bar was a black hole sucking in everyone but Amy.
“Same story, got married out of high school, we were in LUV., good man, works hard, fun to be with, I couldn’t want more. As they say to blessed to be depress.”
“Kids?”
“Two, girl boy, look see.” She said as she dug into her purse to produced pictures of two smiling middle school age children, bright eyed, full of life, piss and vinegar, normal.
“Good looking kids, daughter has dad wrapped around her finger I bet.” I asked
“Sickening, she is his princess, worry about the boy, he gets into a little bit of trouble but good kids.” She smiled as she tenderly tucked the pictures back into the safety of her purse.
“How are Amy’s kids.”
“The oldest daughter was hers from another man, never knew her dad, she is glad to see him gone, the little ones miss their dad, to early to tell. I do wonder about the oldest boy. A son needs a dad to be a man.” Cheryl said
“Fuck this place, com’on Cheryl I want to go meet some real men.” Amy slightly fell off her stool grab hold and established her footing and was moving towards the door all in one action.
“Enjoy the rest of the party.” I said to Cheryl
She was hurried, to pay the bill, gather her stuff, watch out for Amy. She turned to me rolled her eyes and was soon tracking down the elusive and bitter Amy.
An interesting night of dichotomies. On one end of the bar attractive, broke and wanting a free night out. Get dressed sexy, smart and be just a little open to flirtation and the rest of the night is yours. Men will fall over themselves to buy you drinks, just for the mere fact that you would talk to them. You don’t even have to do anything but be there because in the back of their minds they are going to get laid, maybe. These woman know that these men are lucky to be in the lobby of their lives and that is as far as they will ever get. The end of the night will come with a tap on the hand and a wave good bye.
The men will leave triumphant in their pursuit as the ladies did ask for and they did get phone numbers. The ladies will be busily tearing up phone numbers as they head back to husbands, boyfriends or large dogs and the men will keep the lines to “dial a prayer” busy for the next couple of days wondering maybe they had copied their number down wrong.
Are there nights when the men want more than a phone number, are the two playing with fire? Will there be a night when the male ego won’t take “goodbye” as the final answer and pursue to the bitter end. Are there consequences for the game these two are playing. Not tonight maybe not the next time. They might be able to play this game for the rest of their lives. But say for one night one man and consequences.
Anyway for tonight it is a fun free night at the male ego lounge, for those two while Amy struggles with life’s broken journey. Unable or unwilling to escape the chaos of choices that surrounds her. A man, decisions made in bad judgment, self worth always in doubt, easier to blame than accept responsibility. I am sure there were the good times but now they aren’t as all men will be assholes for a very long time.
